Lillies Not For Me (UK)

The practice of conversion and aversion therapies marks a very dark chapter in the gay history. Surgical, chemical and electrical experiments being carried out on gay men held in psychiatric institutions with the intention to alter their sexual orientation. One such historical piece is shown in this film, showing some of these traumatic practices and the impact it had on people, setting his film in the Britain of 1920s. At the same time, it's also a stunningly tender portrayal of love, loss, and the complexities of human emotion. The film swings back and forth between timelines to give us a glistening account of queer love and an account of the dubious conversion therapy in those times.

The film begins in an asylum for gay men where the nurses work as “dates” to get these men back on track. Owen is lucky to have Dorothy, a good-hearted nurse who is new to both romantic novels and dating. Owen is going through a writers block for his second book and this is when through flashbacks we are told what happened with Owen. Owen lives in a quaint countryside home. He opens about his relationship with a medical student Philip, who is convinced he has a “cure” for his “forbidden” feelings. They are not exactly lovers but they often keep eyeing each other with lusty feelings. Philip eventually even talks Owen into a performing a risky, barbaric procedure on his genitals. Arrival of another young man Charles complicates things between the two men even further. He is more in sync with his queer identity. The man names his wife as his best friend and it does not take him long to forge a bond with Owen. In fact, the two eventually get closer and we see an awkward sex scene on the trees between them which even Philip sees. This soon becomes a scary triangle – one of rebellion and another of violence. Philip even ends up killing Charles and eventually leaves. Heartbroken Owen goes to meet Charles' family and decides to visit the gay bar that Charles had told him about and thats how he gets catfishes into getting arrested to his hospital. In a horrific ending we see that it is Philip , who runs this conversion institution and may try the same surgery now on Owen.

The film effectively jumps back and forth between these two timelines, sharply contrasting shadow and light; the hopelessness within the grey and dismal psychiatric facility and the tender intimacy and passion contained within the warmly lit cottage. This trifecta of queer characters also serves to remind audiences that queerness is far from a monolith or a stereotype: Owen believes in his right to live free of shame, Philip adopts a much more cynical approach opting for suppression, and Charles seems content with living his truth in secret. Playing the lead Owen, the actor with his porcelain skin and dove-like eyes is a striking picture of vulnerability. His chemistry with his male co-actors adds further sheen to the film. But as audience, what we see unfold in front of us on the screen is harrowing to watch. To be honest, I am not sure, how much of today's generation might be able to appreciate the film. A reminder of how far we have come today. You cant do much but really empathize with gay men who lived in that barbaric era. The story aside, the way this film is directed, it feels a very artsy approach has been given to it. I am sure the cinematographer must have been delighted. Kudos to the director who chose to make this indie film with a story that needs to be told and the amazing actors who took on the roles of the there men. My one complaint is that at time the film felt slow, but then films like these need the time and space for the audience to really sink in what was going on. A very interesting film that bravely balances the harrowing depictions of queer history with heartwarming portrayals of love. (7/10)