Death And Bowling

This film is clearly meant for arthouse and film festivals. Bordering a thin line between feature, surrealism, art and documentary style of narrative; the film tries to take a look at a trans man’s grief and a mediation on trans lives. It constantly remind you that you’re watching a created object, not peering in on someone’s real life. The one definitely positive things about the film though is that not only the central character, a trans man, is played by a trans actor, but most of the rest of the cast and crew are also trans. 

X is a struggling trans actor whose leather jacket cool can’t hide his desperate need for family. He finds a sense of community within a lesbian bowling team led by the tough and fiercely independent queer mom Susan (Faith Bryan). But Susan dies, and expectedly X feels lost. At Susan’s funeral, he meets Alex, who turns out to have an unexpected connection to Susan and for the first time X feels like he is being seen. The two become close as they fulfill Susan’s wish for her ashes to be scattered. Remaining of the film is all about  X, Alex, and members of the bowling team processing their grief and working out who they were to Susan and who they are to each other.

At just over an hour, I struggled to really understand the central story. It felt more of a euphemism trying of how you see yourself and how others see you. X is struggling to deal with a loss very close to him. The connection that forms between him and Alex opens up the possibility of a new, lasting happiness, but managing new feelings at such an emotionally volatile time is always difficult. Their interactions also create space for discussions about masculinity, the process of becoming comfortable with oneself as a man as one grows older, and different attitudes to the experience of being trans. As mentioned before, the film is directed in a very edgy, artsy way; some may call bold and inventive especially in its effort to try and do a full on trans representation, but for me as a n audience, who knew nothing about the film before I saw it; I felt many gaps and misses and especially the emotional connect. Yes, it is an attempt to make a sincere film about trans people made by trans people providing some amazing representation. But how I wish, th narration was done more in a traditional style (but thats just my view). I hear the film has received amazing reviews throughout from critics and I am happy for the team, but personally I didn't find the film engaging and I would blame the narration and direction style mostly. The actors were all brilliant and anyone who gives an excuse that we do to have enough gay/trans actors out there, is just wrong. (4/10)