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Journey With You (Chinese Series)

By Golu
I've always had kind of a love hate relationship with Chinese historical BLs. Some are genuinely excellent, but then there are others that cram in so much plot that keeping track of all the layers of betrayal and scheming gets exhausting, and I end up checking out mentally. Part of the issue is also just how much content is out there in this space, so something really has to stand out to keep me hooked. In this case, the production value is genuinely impressive, top tier stuff, but story wise, I just couldn't bring myself to actually care about these characters. There's a ton of political scheming and backstage manipulation running throughout. Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos, a hostage ends up falling for his own Prince Charming. The show runs eight episodes, each around 50 to 60 minutes long. After spending three years guarding the border, Fifth Prince Yin Qi gets called back to the capital because of a secret letter, only to end up walking straight into a deadly...
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The Getaway

By Golu

This movie was honestly just terrible. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed this hard at a flick for all the wrong reasons, and I knew within the first ten minutes that things were going to be a total mess. Once you move past how awful it is, you can actually have a great time just wondering how this ever got made. It makes you wonder if anyone involved even bothered to watch the final version after they finished shooting.

The plot is about as basic as it gets. A group of Black gay couples all get invited to a resort for a weekend trip where everything is paid for, but they all think the invite came from someone different. Since a few of these guys have some messy history with each other, the tension is pretty high as soon as they arrive. Nobody actually knows who is picking up the tab or who started the whole thing—A thinks B invited them, B thinks it was C, and it just keeps going like that. Pretty soon, a slasher starts picking them off one by one. The killer’s identity eventually comes out, and the murders just keep happening until the very end when only two of the guys manage to get away.

The first thing that hits you is how completely broken the audio is. I’m not sure if they just recorded everything live on set without checking it, but the sound is so distorted that it’s actually hard to hear what the actors are saying. The way the murders are handled is just as bad; the "kills" look so childish and fake that it feels more like you're watching a middle school play than a horror movie. None of the characters even try to fight back against the slasher; they just sort of run around in circles like they’re waiting for their turn to die. There are also two sex scenes thrown in that feel like they only exist to check a box. The acting is super amateur and just plain bad across the board. This is exactly the kind of movie you should put on when you’re hanging out with friends and just want to roast something together. It’s a perfect example of how unintentionally funny a movie can be when everything goes wrong.

It’s an absolute disaster of a slasher film that fails at every technical level, from the sound to the acting. (0/10)

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