Is this technically a gay show? Even after getting through the whole thing, that's still kind of tricky to answer. There's never any physical intimacy shown between the two leads, not even a single kiss. What it gives you instead is something that goes way deeper than that. It traces an emotional bond that spans a full decade between two guys who are both dealing with their own baggage, and what they share basically amounts to being soulmates. The story moves across Japan, South Korea, and Berlin. Honestly, whether people want to call what they have a romantic relationship or not doesn't really matter to me. A relationship doesn't need a label like boyfriends attached to it to actually mean something. And closeness doesn't need to be physical to feel genuine. What this show captures is something quieter but way more powerful, a bond rooted in understanding, respect, and just showing up for each other. Across eight episodes, each running 35 to 45 minutes, this is one...
This under an hour documentary is about three couples who are friends with each other, because the common thing binding them together is that the husbands have SSA. They categorically deny being gay. They are all married and also have kids but they are attracted to men and their wives know it and are very comfortable with it. What's never shown, only briefly talked about is, that whether any of these men have ever acted upon these feelings and have had sex with other men? The husbands in the show frame the difference between themselves and gays as a matter of choice. Clearly, these are people who believe that if they had made different choices, they would be gay men, not people who believe that being gay is categorically distinct from their experience of same-sex attraction.
Although I have to admit, this documentary was a bit of fun to watch since the couples they picked had interesting personalities, but the way the whole thing is handled is weird. Is it sending the message that being gay is something that can and ought to be changed, or that you should reject your sexual orientation by marrying someone of the opposite sex? I don't know, but it definitely felt like that. There are ways that a gay orientation could be reconciled with heterosexual marriage that wouldn’t rely on the belief that changing one’s sexual orientation is possible. They could, for example, believe that sexual attraction is unnecessary within a marriage. However, this is not the case for the men and women profiled. Every one of them goes out of their way to stress that the guys do, in fact, experience sexual attraction to their wives, and occasionally to other women. Oddly, none of them wanna identify as bisexual either. They keep referring to SSA. Thankfully they don't ass any quirky comments on gay life style. They focus on themselves. The candor with which they discuss their attraction to other guys while around each other seems crazy at first — disconcertingly crazy and certainly disrespectful. But whether it's born of resignation, strategy, or genuine comfort on the topic, the wives all seem happy to join in and chat about Ryan Reynolds. I did noted will not take this show seriously. I saw it, blogged it and will conveniently forget it. (4/10)
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