Is this technically a gay show? Even after getting through the whole thing, that's still kind of tricky to answer. There's never any physical intimacy shown between the two leads, not even a single kiss. What it gives you instead is something that goes way deeper than that. It traces an emotional bond that spans a full decade between two guys who are both dealing with their own baggage, and what they share basically amounts to being soulmates. The story moves across Japan, South Korea, and Berlin. Honestly, whether people want to call what they have a romantic relationship or not doesn't really matter to me. A relationship doesn't need a label like boyfriends attached to it to actually mean something. And closeness doesn't need to be physical to feel genuine. What this show captures is something quieter but way more powerful, a bond rooted in understanding, respect, and just showing up for each other. Across eight episodes, each running 35 to 45 minutes, this is one...
The story of the Khans begins around the time of Partition. Arshad Khan’s father, orphaned, comes to the newly formed Pakistan with his siblings. Under the care of relatives, he gets educated, enrolls in the Pakistan Army, gets married and has a brood of children. He is among the few in his social circle to own a video camera, and he records picnics, home parties and festival celebrations. And many of the footage from these home videos is used. We are told how Arshad was sexually abused as a child, leading to anger and self-loathing. As Arshad grows older, he begins to understand that he is gay. He finds love as a teenage which lasts too short. Meanwhile, his father resigns from the Army and launches a string of businesses, some of which work and some of which don’t. The family emigrates to Canada in 1991, but their problems only seem to be beginning. Arshad Khan’s father struggles to make a living, while Arshad Khan battles homophobia and racism, conceals his sexuality from his parents and branches out in the opposite direction in terms of his career. But this cant be kept hidden. Slowly he comes out to his siblings and friends and eventually his parents also find out. But by this time, both his father and mother have gone to the deep end of religion. The story ends with Arshad finding a loving partner and with the death of his father having filled his wish of religious pilgrimage and taking his last breath in his home country of Pakistan.
This documentary is like a meditation on his troubled relationship with his father, given Khan’s identity as a politically active gay Muslim and his father’s turn to an increasingly conservative relationship with Islam. Through the usage of many home videos, interviews with his mother and sister, many hindi film songs and though Arshad's own narration we are deeply involved in this family. It was interesting that the film maker doesn't hesitate to show how his mother still to date doesn't approve of his sexuality. There are times when the home videos – usually of birthday parties – feel a bit repetitive, and Khan’s narration is a tad too deliberate. But these are quibbles in an otherwise well-made documentary that manages to charm you. It does get dark at various places but tries to humour you at places. The film’s straightforward confessional style won’t be everybody’s cup of tea. In 80-minutes, Abu compresses the arc of a man’s entire life’s story — the love, conflict, and final absolution — and lays it bare for the world to see. The story’s details may be specific to the Khan family but Abu’s themes will resonate with anyone who has ever struggled to fit in — and hopefully, even those who haven’t. (6.5/10)
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