El Houb (Arabic/Dutch) [The Love]

Wow! What a beautiful film and a subject that's probably tackled in most coming out films but hardly for 5 minutes. Making a full length feature film. A very impressive debut from the director, showing us the journey of tradition, culture family, roots, lifestyle and sexuality in a manner that, personally for me, resonated a lot. With an excellent cinematography and production design, it is not easy to hold on audience attention of a film l primarily happening in an apartment, but I absolutely loved it. Something about traditional and religious families and how they deal with their kids coming out is a topic that always fascinates me and this whole film is all about a man dealing with firestorm of his accidental coming out.

Karim is a Moroccan descent Dutch successful businessman. The film starts with his father accidentally finding him and his boyfriend Kofi naked in Karim's apartment. Karim’s conservative, religious, family don’t know that he is gay and his father’s sight prompts Karim to decide to come out to them. He visits home in hopes to talk to his parents the next day, but they just brush and ignore the topic every time Karim tries to bring it up. Expectedly, and culturally, his family doesn't know how to react, they are worried about neighbors, society is higher than their child's troubles. Their response is to refuse to discuss anything and Karim is forced to take quite unusual steps to break their ingrained culture of silence, which includes barricading himself in the family’s storage room for days unless they agree to talk to him. During this period, we get to understand Karim's background a little more. He was involved with his cousin and they were quasi lovers until the cousin was forced to marry a girl and probably eventually committed suicide. We see how Karim even gets a girlfriend but since ash his Dutch, she is not good enough for him according to his parents. Karim meets a Ghanaian guy Kofi and the duo start a turmoil's relationship which is difficult since Karim is in closet and is just not ready for anyone to know about his sexuality. But behind the closed doors in closet (symbolic of Karim is in closet), he forces to have discussion with his parents and make them understand his point of view. Surprisingly, when his younger brother comes home, he thinks at least he will be understanding, but there is no such luck. The film is journey into the minds and lives of the individual family members as they struggle to understand and express their thoughts, and reconcile their differences through some intense, humorous, sad and haunting discussions.

Many people from similar familial, and religious backgrounds will connect with this authentic story. I surely did. When Karim visits his family and they ask him to leave the house since they don't want to talk, he does go out. Because it is easier for everyone to brush aside the topic an don't talk , but I loved the fact that Karim comes back, hides in the storage and literally forces his parents to talk about this. I can totally see the awkwardness between both Karim and his parents talking about something which is not culturally done in conservative families. Karim creates an opportunity to finally get things out in open once and for all and refuses to leave until the matter ir resolved. Told through tense conversations via flashbacks involving Karim's own 10 year old younger self and some surreal interactions and sequences , we get to see where Karim is coming from . He reminds his mother, that she always knew but like most parents, she wanted to ignore it. One of my favorite scenes of the film is young Karim and his family were watching TV when two boys begin to kiss on screen. In slow motion, we watch them throw their popcorn bowl in the air and search frantically for the remote while Karim views the screen with pure revelation in his eyes. I can so totally see in so many houses like mine where I grew up. I can see so many parallels in Karim's life, his conservative family, elephant in the room syndrome and how Karim has the 'difficult' conversation.

Honestly, I am sure if western audience will be able to relate to this scenario as much as some of the asian and middle eastern families would. Simply because Karim spends more than a day or two in closet trying to make his parents understand his point of view. Most people will just ask him to leave and be on his own. Now that is always easy. However, that might be too easy a solution for Karim who is himself filled with self-hatred and is clearly devoted to his family and their religious beliefs. The film ends in a sort of hanging mode, where I am very very interested to know where things head further form here. I really really hope a sequel comes. These days, a lot of gay films are about social acceptance and supportive friends and families, which is so good to see, but I am also glad to get a reminder that not all cultures still do that. In my opinion, this film is very emotional and accomplished subject that needed to be told. It shows that however tough it may seem at times, there can be an alternative to suffering in silence within a family. A genuine love story (this time for family), in all senses of the word. Highly recommended. (8.5/10)