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Journey With You (Chinese Series)

By Golu
I've always had kind of a love hate relationship with Chinese historical BLs. Some are genuinely excellent, but then there are others that cram in so much plot that keeping track of all the layers of betrayal and scheming gets exhausting, and I end up checking out mentally. Part of the issue is also just how much content is out there in this space, so something really has to stand out to keep me hooked. In this case, the production value is genuinely impressive, top tier stuff, but story wise, I just couldn't bring myself to actually care about these characters. There's a ton of political scheming and backstage manipulation running throughout. Somewhere in the middle of all that chaos, a hostage ends up falling for his own Prince Charming. The show runs eight episodes, each around 50 to 60 minutes long. After spending three years guarding the border, Fifth Prince Yin Qi gets called back to the capital because of a secret letter, only to end up walking straight into a deadly...
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Captain Faggotron Saves the Universe

By Golu
Scruffy and very messy, this resolutely ridiculous English-language comedy from Germany, is so incredibly random that trying to find a coherent story amidst the chaos is actually impossible. I guess the makers were trying to make a satire with a very awkward approach. I will admit that satire is not my favorite genre, but if done right, it can be very entertaining. This film sadly falls flat at many places and jokes don't land. It's like as if the writers were high or something while "writing" this mess of a script.

Father Andy Gaylord invites his friend Captain Faggotron because he knows someone called Queen Bitch, an alien from another planet, is hellbent on making Earth homosexual. Through flashback, we are told that Andy and Queen Bitch are ex-lovers but Andy never wanted to accept his homosexuality and they break up. And now Queen is teaming up with his outer-space cohort to turn Earth into a homosexual planet, by staging a staggeringly profane ceremony at the moment the stars align ominously. In next there days, three planets will align and Black Queen needs to masturbate and cum on an alien ring. And that's why Andy asks his friend Captain Faggotron for help, although he is struggling with his own personal issues.  And then in flashback again, we are told how Faggotron used to be the straight man, but a chance meet with the client cohort and Queen Bitch made him homosexual. At the cosmic event, the anus of hell opens up and the earth starts to become gay. 

Frankly, much of this film makes no sense at all, as one random scene piles onto another one, played to the hilt by hammy actors in outrageously lurid costumes. Dialog is written to include as much vulgar innuendo as humanly possible. And it's difficult to imagine that Queen and Carol's plan could make Berlin any gayer than it's depicted here. The paper-thin premise seems to be an excuse for the director to get his actors to partake in increasingly lewd scenes, an example being Captain Faggotron and Queen Bitch deep-throating hot dogs while the vendor looks on (and gets turned on). Yuck! Things are broad and stroke. The connections between priest and Queen Black or between Captain and Queen Bitch are both oddly timid. Along the way, the film flashes back to reveal origin stories for the central characters, but they are all goofy, as expected. There is a lot of animation thrown in between to connect dots and show us some sort of aliens gay invasion. Overall, a royal mess and completely avoidable. (2/10)
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