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Stop! That! Train!

By Golu
Coming out of the same studio that gave us RuPaul's Drag Race, and stacked with a whole crew of former contestants, Stop! That! Train! plays like RuPaul basically taking a bow for the entire franchise she's built. It's not really a gay film in the traditional sense, but with so many drag stars from Ru's shows popping up alongside a few cameos from well known out gay actors, I figured it earns a spot on this blog anyway. The whole thing is completely over the top, packed with GenZ slang, loud flashy visuals, and humor that's constantly winking at you knowing how ridiculous it is. Going in you'd assume it's meant to be a laugh riot, and a lot of critics online seem to be eating it up, but I just couldn't get into it at all. I've never really been someone who vibes with campy silly stuff like this, so honestly my reaction doesn't surprise me one bit. The setup follows Tess and DeeDee, two low level stewardesses who sneak onto the fancy Glamazonian E...
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The Unattainably Perfect Gay Christmas (aka Red Lodge)

By Golu

This is one of those typical low-budget indie gay holiday movies that probably didn't get much attention when it first dropped. It used to be called 'Red Lodge' before they changed the name. While there are a few moments of actual comedy and sweet romance tucked away in here, they’re mostly hidden under a pile of mediocre acting, weird camera angles, and some really annoying choices by the characters. On the bright side, the whole thing only lasts about an hour, so it’s a quick watch if nothing else.

The plot follows Jordan and Dave, a couple who have been together for a few years. Right before Christmas, Jordan pops the question, expecting a big "Yes!" but instead, Dave basically says, "Can't we just stay the way we are?" They head off on a train to spend the holidays with Jordan's aunt, bringing along Jordan’s "sister" Lisa—who was raised by the aunt—and her boyfriend. Most of the movie is just them bickering and talking through Jordan and Dave’s relationship issues. In a weird twist, Dave meets a 20-year-old ski instructor who seems to be closeted and invites him over for a hot tub session, hoping for a threesome, but that doesn't actually lead anywhere. The movie just kind of stops as abruptly as the rest of the story.

The way they filmed this was really awkward because it uses a bunch of flashbacks and has one of the guys talking directly to the camera, almost like he’s on a reality dating show. It felt like Jordan was trying to narrate everything, and the constant jumps to how they met were just annoying. To make it worse, the version I watched looked terrible, and the two leads had zero chemistry. There’s an aunt character who is supposed to be racist and homophobic in a funny way, but none of her jokes actually landed. I think the script itself had some potential, but the acting and the directing were so bad that it was almost impossible to sit through. You could tell the lead actor was struggling because he kept laughing at the wrong times or looking right into the lens. It feels like a short film that someone tried to stretch out into a full movie, but it just didn't work. Even though it's technically a Christmas movie, it doesn't really have that holiday feel to help save the weak plot. Plus, the whole side story with the sister and her boyfriend just felt like extra filler to show off a messy family.

It’s a low-energy holiday flick that suffers from a major lack of chemistry and a messy filming style that makes it a bit of a chore to finish. (2/10)

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