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Stop! That! Train!

By Golu
Coming out of the same studio that gave us RuPaul's Drag Race, and stacked with a whole crew of former contestants, Stop! That! Train! plays like RuPaul basically taking a bow for the entire franchise she's built. It's not really a gay film in the traditional sense, but with so many drag stars from Ru's shows popping up alongside a few cameos from well known out gay actors, I figured it earns a spot on this blog anyway. The whole thing is completely over the top, packed with GenZ slang, loud flashy visuals, and humor that's constantly winking at you knowing how ridiculous it is. Going in you'd assume it's meant to be a laugh riot, and a lot of critics online seem to be eating it up, but I just couldn't get into it at all. I've never really been someone who vibes with campy silly stuff like this, so honestly my reaction doesn't surprise me one bit. The setup follows Tess and DeeDee, two low level stewardesses who sneak onto the fancy Glamazonian E...
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Jayson Bend: Queen and Country (UK)

By Golu
How come no one overthought of a gay super-spy, a James Bond-is character before. Surely this film is not as old, and it feels like this idea was right there for someone to just pick it up and build. And now we have Jayson Bend. This film is a great time pass spoof with gay secret agents, bad guys trying to take over the world and more puns than you could shake your weapon at. Leave your brains, forget the bad CGI and average direction and just try to enjoy.

Jayson Bend (also known as “Agent 009”) is an openly gay British super spy! He drives fast and plays hard - always with other hot boys - flirting with them and more. In this film, Jayson teams up with a sexy Swiss counterpart Alec DeCoque to stop the activation of a newly launched satellite that will turn Raymond Perdood, the billionaire owner of the largest global chain of hair salons, into the most powerful man in the world. In the process he meets a Twink doctor 'Tu Yung' who has been making a special chemical.

The story is basic and at about 50-55 minute duration, the film moves very fast. It tries to follow the typical James Bond film formula using all the stereotypical gay perspectives and characters, which makes it funny. Right from the very first scene when Bend shows up to get hair cut and his flirting with the hair dresser, you know exactly where this film is headed. We have fancy gadgets (condom, vibrator), we have bond-girl (mr. DeCoque) and bad Bond-girl (Dr Yung) etc. Playing the conventions straightforwardly, not veering into heavy camp, works very well and is a key to enjoying the film. The film was probably made with much less budget which is evident in a few places, but surprisingly all the actors playing their parts do a very good job. They are not cringe worthy at all. The film feels spoof but also legit at the same time. The dialogues are witty and cheeky and gays will connect with most of it. Davis Brooks plays Jayson Bend as a person with an underlying sense of humor, not grimly. The story moves along with logic and excitement. This film was a total guilty pleasure and is a beautifully-realised and gloriously silly love letter to the world’s greatest secret agent. I actually would not mind seeing another film in the Jayson Bend series. (5.5/10)
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Sailor Maan said…
Haha total guilty pleasure indeed, thanks for the review. Of course it's very average as a normal movie, but it's brilliant as a (low budget) parody. Not even sure they would do it as good if the real James Bond ever turns bisexual for the sake of its mission (I'm sure it will happen one day to that good old James ;p)
June 19, 2022 at 11:12 AM
Golu said…
Naaah. The actual James Bond getting queer probably won't happen anytime soon. For now we will just have to be content with seeing some of the villains being gay.
June 19, 2022 at 12:39 PM
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