Out (Dutch)

Netherland-based queer drama Out is about two young boys in love and how their lives change when they move out of their conservative hometown to live the glitzy gay life in Amsterdam. I would say this film is extremely relatable. What does being in love for two men mean in the quiet rural life v/s city? What does liberation mean for them? Capturing the recklessness of youth and the excitement of newfound sexual liberties in sensuous black-and-white cinematography, Out offers up a vivid and tender tale of being young and gay.

Tom ( a budding film maker) and Ajani (we are not surely told what is he studying) are closeted secondary school sweethearts who yearn for life outside of their small-minded, rural community in the Netherlands. While Ajani comes out to his family, Tom's family is different. Plus he is very sure that he is bisexual and keeps reminding himself and other. When They both get accepted in school in Amsterdam, their excitement knows no bound. Ajani is excited because the city will have thriving queer scene, while for Tom, it will be an opportunity to hone his directorial skills. But they soon find themselves on divergent paths. Ajani is an extrovert, eager to explore the sex and drug-drenched queer scene. Tom is a bit antisocial and more focused on his filmmaking and wanting to be exclusive with Ajani. Very quickly they will both need to answer “Who am I, and where do I fit in?” You see how Ajani is slowly drifting apart. He wants new thrills, new friends, new experiences; but the antisocial Tom prefers Ajani to himself and his focus on film making. It was obvious Tom crushed hard on Ajani, whose increasing aloofness simply made his character appear superficial. Ajani soon moves out to live in the center of city, while Tom goes to Berlin to finish his film. When he is back, things are not same. Ajani has changed a lot. Tom wants to fit in and tries to go to a sex club with Ajani and his group, but next morning, he finally realizes that he also needs to move on.

This film gets a bot uncomfortable to watch at certain points. Neither Tom nor Ajani is wrong here. They are just messy and young lovers with different approaches to life. The intensity of their chemistry stands wonderfully captured when they kiss. The film is more about Tom's journey IMO than Ajani (so I find it very surprising that it's Ajani on the poster and not Tom, or could have been both). Tom not only struggles to cast off his conservative smalltown ways, but is also disappointed with his film school experience. I am not sure about the whole thing about him getting fired from the school. HE still goes to Berlin to shoot his film, so that event has absolutely no relevance. I am not sure how it all fit in. For Ajani, all we see is him wanting to experience his gay self more and more by immersing himself in the queer scene. Over time, these conditions give rise to a disconnect between them, one that threatens the future of their relationship and the end of a dream they had long awaited to fulfill. We also see an interesting perspective where these two normal, loving guys can also be jerks to each other in their own way, when they want to be.

As actors, I still think Tom stands out a lot more than Ajani. He mesmerizes in every frame he’s in. The camera adores him, and his face registers the kind of emotional complexity and nuance sometimes missing from the screenplay. The film ends on a satisfactory note with the opening and closing sequence following the exact same pattern. A gorgeously shot black and white film, this piercing portrait of today's gay life proves that coming out isn’t just a pronouncement of one’s sexuality, it’s a simultaneously joyous and heartbreaking journey of self-discovery. (7/10)