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Chained To My Bully Stepbrother (AI Vertical BL Drama)

By Golu
This is the second vertical AI BL drama I've sat through, and honestly I went in knowing better. I had it on while I was doing cardio at the gym, and what struck me was just how much the plot echoed the last one I watched. Same step brother romance angle, same mystery girlfriend showing up near the end, same extra guy pining after one of the leads. Genuinely the only thing going for it was the runtime, the whole thing wrapped up in forty five minutes flat.  The setup kicks off with Finn moving schools because his mom just married into money. He finds out his new step brother Aiden goes to the same place, and he's warned to keep his distance from him. Their first run in at school is rocky, just like you'd expect, but there's this odd pull between them neither can shake off. Finn keeps telling himself not to read into it because Aiden's straight and openly homophobic. Things shift when some kids start bullying Finn and the student council president, Ryan, steps in to ...
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Captain Faggotron Saves the Universe

By Golu
Scruffy and very messy, this resolutely ridiculous English-language comedy from Germany, is so incredibly random that trying to find a coherent story amidst the chaos is actually impossible. I guess the makers were trying to make a satire with a very awkward approach. I will admit that satire is not my favorite genre, but if done right, it can be very entertaining. This film sadly falls flat at many places and jokes don't land. It's like as if the writers were high or something while "writing" this mess of a script.

Father Andy Gaylord invites his friend Captain Faggotron because he knows someone called Queen Bitch, an alien from another planet, is hellbent on making Earth homosexual. Through flashback, we are told that Andy and Queen Bitch are ex-lovers but Andy never wanted to accept his homosexuality and they break up. And now Queen is teaming up with his outer-space cohort to turn Earth into a homosexual planet, by staging a staggeringly profane ceremony at the moment the stars align ominously. In next there days, three planets will align and Black Queen needs to masturbate and cum on an alien ring. And that's why Andy asks his friend Captain Faggotron for help, although he is struggling with his own personal issues.  And then in flashback again, we are told how Faggotron used to be the straight man, but a chance meet with the client cohort and Queen Bitch made him homosexual. At the cosmic event, the anus of hell opens up and the earth starts to become gay. 

Frankly, much of this film makes no sense at all, as one random scene piles onto another one, played to the hilt by hammy actors in outrageously lurid costumes. Dialog is written to include as much vulgar innuendo as humanly possible. And it's difficult to imagine that Queen and Carol's plan could make Berlin any gayer than it's depicted here. The paper-thin premise seems to be an excuse for the director to get his actors to partake in increasingly lewd scenes, an example being Captain Faggotron and Queen Bitch deep-throating hot dogs while the vendor looks on (and gets turned on). Yuck! Things are broad and stroke. The connections between priest and Queen Black or between Captain and Queen Bitch are both oddly timid. Along the way, the film flashes back to reveal origin stories for the central characters, but they are all goofy, as expected. There is a lot of animation thrown in between to connect dots and show us some sort of aliens gay invasion. Overall, a royal mess and completely avoidable. (2/10)
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