Coming out of the same studio that gave us RuPaul's Drag Race, and stacked with a whole crew of former contestants, Stop! That! Train! plays like RuPaul basically taking a bow for the entire franchise she's built. It's not really a gay film in the traditional sense, but with so many drag stars from Ru's shows popping up alongside a few cameos from well known out gay actors, I figured it earns a spot on this blog anyway. The whole thing is completely over the top, packed with GenZ slang, loud flashy visuals, and humor that's constantly winking at you knowing how ridiculous it is. Going in you'd assume it's meant to be a laugh riot, and a lot of critics online seem to be eating it up, but I just couldn't get into it at all. I've never really been someone who vibes with campy silly stuff like this, so honestly my reaction doesn't surprise me one bit. The setup follows Tess and DeeDee, two low level stewardesses who sneak onto the fancy Glamazonian E...
In 303 AD., the captain of the Roman Palace Guards, Sebastiane, a favorite of the Emperor Diocletian, is suspected of being a Christian and since the emperor believes the Christians set fires in Rome, he strips Sebastiane of his rank and banishes him to a remote outpost in Sardinia with other exiled soldiers. The commanding officer lusts after the brooding Sebastiane, who in the strong desert sun is becoming more mystical, more filled with homoerotic thoughts, more pure, and more aloof from the other bored but playful soldiers by refusing to take part in the gladiator exercises and their homosexual affairs. When the officers sexual advances are rejected and the smitten pagan centurion is called impotent by Sebastiane, the angry rejected one orders his execution by arrows shot in every part of his body by every soldier on the post.
The primary concern of the film seems to push the boundaries of what’s acceptable on screen. Sebastiane uses the presence of copious amounts of full frontal male nudity and characters that openly have same-sex intercourse. A homosexual relationship between two of the soldiers is treated sympathetically, while the guard at this exile yearns for Sebastian's love. The hero’s extended solo shower under the infatuated eye of his tormentor sets a beautiful tone early on. The film’s dialogue is all spoken in Latin and the costumes, while scant, feel believable. The film is a critical piece of cinema in the global history of LGBT films, partly for the reason it doesn't promote self-shaming. But what is the film really trying to say? It almost feels like a soft-core gay porn film with nudity and a few homosexual tryst amongst soldiers including a shot of full erect penis. I read somewhere that the film is like a painting by a famous artist but on acid and drugs and that actually pretty much summed it up for me. (4/10)
Comments
The whole film had a distinct flow and ill-omened vibe that something bad is just waiting to happen. I also liked the bleached colors, like the heat of the sun doing its damage. I don't know if I'm searching for hidden clues and messages everywhere, but it seemed like the writers or directors wanted to show that the ones shooting the arrows (and the ones ordering them to shoot) are just as "guilty" themselves - not very well hidden message for the homophobic and sanctimonious people, to look into themselves and think who was their St Sebastian who rejected their affection or does a different religion really make another human being unacceptable in any way. Very flower-power, I'd say.
If this film was a painting, the artist didn't have the best canvas and paints, I think. But he did his best with what he had. For me the whole thing felt like a historical play in an open air theater.
I am not very familiar with story of St Sebastiane, but all your information here makes sense.
There's a patron saint for basically any line of work or hobby or whatever a person can identify themselves as - St Jerome (Hieronymos) protects translators, St Vitus is the guardian against oversleeping (among other things), St Amelia is the patron saint of knitting, St Christopher protects travelers... St Sebastian protects archers, athletes, soldiers and dying people, and this film managed to show how and why he became their patron saint.